12-23-12 : christmas adam

   Tomorrow, I am leaving with my family to visit my aunt in Canada. There is no internet access where I am going, because my aunt is eighty-seven. I will not be able to watch the Doctor Who Christmas Special, because she does not have cable. All I ask is that I get to see Les Mis on Christmas.

   We go to my aunt's every Christmas. I can't imagine what it must be like to spend Christmas at home with friends instead of far away with family. What's it even like to get on the internet on Christmas Day? 0.0

    I feel kind of sad about Christmas this year, and I don't really know why. I watch the time pass with a sort of longing, sad to see it all slip by me. Like I'm trying to hang on to 2012 for no detectable reason. It wasn't even that great a year. It was just 2012.

    My brother's leaving next year. 

    I guess I'll have to . . . deal with that.

    We didn't decorate the tree this year. We put it up - the fake tree, I mean, the one that we've always had - and somehow in the last few days the compulsion to decorate it has left us. It is bare. The colorful lights that usually line the banisters of the stairs are absent this year, as are the snowmen figurines and outdoor lights. Why didn't we decorate this year? Why does everything feel so odd right now? I can't even believe that Christmas is the day after tomorrow. It crept right up. I've barely been anticipating it, and here it is.

    It doesn't feel like Christmas.

    Am I just getting older?

I can't wait to see my aunt, but there are a few family members who we're not seeing this year. We can't see everyone, which is a shame because everyone is in Canada. Sometimes I just want to live there.

Now I leave you with a quote: "If you don't imagine, nothing ever happens at all." - John Green, Paper Towns.

Merry Christmas, everyone.