January.
Les Misérables and Homestuck and digital art and the monotony of January. Cold weather and clouds that last long enough to make everything feel hopeless. Your visit your old school and your best friend and her boyfriend at their Homecoming and you feel like she is replacing you and it's the worst feeling in the world.
February.
D-now at your friend's church, and all your other friends are there, but then when she wins a prize for having brought the most people you wonder if that was really why she invited you. There's a scavenger hunt involving finding roadkill and you all gather around a dead raccoon and sing Amazing Grace. You go see a movie about zombies with two of your best friends and the memory of how fun it was sticks in your mind for a long time, even now. You wish that could happen more.
February.
D-now at your friend's church, and all your other friends are there, but then when she wins a prize for having brought the most people you wonder if that was really why she invited you. There's a scavenger hunt involving finding roadkill and you all gather around a dead raccoon and sing Amazing Grace. You go see a movie about zombies with two of your best friends and the memory of how fun it was sticks in your mind for a long time, even now. You wish that could happen more.
March.
You cry when you watch Titanic, and you cry when your friends pour out their hearts to you because there's no way you could ever make them stop feeling sad. A fabulous birthday party is followed a not-so-fabulous reunion in a shopping mall with your best friend, who breaks your heart and you are speechless. Your brother becomes an adult and you wonder at the feeling. Every Sunday night you watch a TV show called Vikings, and you remember the events of each week by the events of the show that week. You become friends with someone from your school who you never thought you'd get to know, but by now you can't really imagine not being friends with them. You just really want the school year to be over. Doctor Who comes on again, and it is perfect.
April.
An art show and a number - 413. You see your dear great aunt, who is in the hospital and will not be returning home. You are alone on an airplane for the first time, and the experience is completely boring.
May.
You get a haircut. You love it. You love The Great Gatsby and you hate the AP Biology exam and you love going to an anime convention with your best friends in the world. You doubt that you will ever have the same amount of fun ever again. You dress up as Rose Lalonde from Homestuck and you meet lots of other Homestuck cosplayers and everyone is smiling and having the time of their lives. There are ramen noodles and ramune and new friends. It's summer - you've made it.
June.
You go to camp. This is your seventh year and it feels like home, just like it always does. You have missed your camp friends so much, and seeing them again makes you wonder why you never actually try to see them outside of camp. It's your ex-best friend's birthday. You don't hear a peep from her. She doesn't here a peep from you. Your friends are scheming to get you into a relationship with a certain person. And somehow you aren't opposed to the idea of that, no matter what you tell yourself.
You go to camp. This is your seventh year and it feels like home, just like it always does. You have missed your camp friends so much, and seeing them again makes you wonder why you never actually try to see them outside of camp. It's your ex-best friend's birthday. You don't hear a peep from her. She doesn't here a peep from you. Your friends are scheming to get you into a relationship with a certain person. And somehow you aren't opposed to the idea of that, no matter what you tell yourself.
July.
You are bitten by the anime bug - Attack on Titan and Free. You never thought it would catch you. Your cousin comes down for a few weeks, and you can't believe how much he's grown. He's taller and his voice is deeper, but he's actually the exact same person inside. You hope he never changes in that way. He plays on his i-pad and takes you geocaching and you watch Phantom of the Opera, and then you go to Canada to visit his house and every day is the depth of summer. Making slushies and biking to a park nearby and watching Community for at least five hours a day and drinking tea and working on Wreck This Journal. You go paintballing. It hurts a lot. You run a 5K - the Color Run. Afterward, you have a water fight in the backyard to get all the color off.
August.
You go to a random town in the middle of nowhere with your dad because some actress was born there. You listen to Welcome to Night Vale. Band camp. Wow, you are really, really bad at spinning a flag. It is so hot outside. Your arms are always sore. Your skin is always burned. You make new friends and you learn a lot but you are always painfully aware of how weak your skills are, even to this day. For someone who is really confident, you sure do lack confidence. Then is the band trip to a nearby amusement park, and it's one of the best days of the year to you. You go on lots of rides and you foster new friendships and you find out how not to have a relationship with someone else. School starts. It is your second-to-last year of school. Your birthday brings you a charm bracelet and a shattered phone and a trip to the movies on a school night.
September.
Homework and band competitions. You freaking love Marching Band. More homework.
August.
You go to a random town in the middle of nowhere with your dad because some actress was born there. You listen to Welcome to Night Vale. Band camp. Wow, you are really, really bad at spinning a flag. It is so hot outside. Your arms are always sore. Your skin is always burned. You make new friends and you learn a lot but you are always painfully aware of how weak your skills are, even to this day. For someone who is really confident, you sure do lack confidence. Then is the band trip to a nearby amusement park, and it's one of the best days of the year to you. You go on lots of rides and you foster new friendships and you find out how not to have a relationship with someone else. School starts. It is your second-to-last year of school. Your birthday brings you a charm bracelet and a shattered phone and a trip to the movies on a school night.
September.
Homework and band competitions. You freaking love Marching Band. More homework.
October.
You have finally realized that your ex best friend is just that. You begin to realize that there is someone new who makes you feel like every nerve in your body is charged with electricity. Why would you spend time with your sucky ex-best friend when people like him exist in the world? You go to the fair and there are bunnies, and that makes the experience entirely worth it - well, that and the fact that you get to spend a whole day with two of your favorite people, and then later in the day you change groups and now you're with two of your other favorite people and their favorite people and it is all so much fun, but you just keep thinking back with wonder on how that person makes you feel.
November.
November has always been your favorite month. This November feel fulls of waiting. Waiting for Christmas, waiting for the promise of snow, waiting to see what happens with this person and you. You march in a parade and the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special is disappointing. You visit Washington D.C. - Mount Vernon and the American Girl Place. You love big cities.
December.
Exams happen, and then other things happen. You go see The Hobbit with your friends and the person is there, and it's perfect. After that they all come to your house and you play dumb hide-and-seek and then they open the presents you gave them - stuffed animals. A tyrannosaurus, a polar bear, a koala, and a walrus. You eat a ton of cupcakes. It's a lot of fun. The next night you're talking to your person about how much you want to see Pacific Rim and then he says let's go see it sometime and you say real question: are you asking me out? and he says possibly. however, i would rather not do it over texting because that is horribly reminiscent of things i heard of in middle school. So basically, he is perfect, and you've been asked out for the first time in your life. You don't really stop thinking about him when you go to Canada over Christmas break, and you really hope you won't ever regret everything that you feel about him.
November.
November has always been your favorite month. This November feel fulls of waiting. Waiting for Christmas, waiting for the promise of snow, waiting to see what happens with this person and you. You march in a parade and the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special is disappointing. You visit Washington D.C. - Mount Vernon and the American Girl Place. You love big cities.
December.
Exams happen, and then other things happen. You go see The Hobbit with your friends and the person is there, and it's perfect. After that they all come to your house and you play dumb hide-and-seek and then they open the presents you gave them - stuffed animals. A tyrannosaurus, a polar bear, a koala, and a walrus. You eat a ton of cupcakes. It's a lot of fun. The next night you're talking to your person about how much you want to see Pacific Rim and then he says let's go see it sometime and you say real question: are you asking me out? and he says possibly. however, i would rather not do it over texting because that is horribly reminiscent of things i heard of in middle school. So basically, he is perfect, and you've been asked out for the first time in your life. You don't really stop thinking about him when you go to Canada over Christmas break, and you really hope you won't ever regret everything that you feel about him.
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