Monday, December 31, 2012

12-31-12: year old


I finished my first proper tablet drawing, so here it is.


It's John and Vriska from Homestuck. Whoo.

So today is the last day of the year. I don't know what to think about this. I'm looking forward to better things in 2013, I guess, but what if worse things happen instead?

I haven't posted anything about how Christmas was. I guess I'll do that.

I woke up and everyone opened presents. That was fun and all, yes, presents, woot. I got the aforementioned graphics tablet that I wanted, as well as a Ravenclaw scarf and a few other things. My great aunt surprised me with an American Girl Doll - Julie, to be specific. She said that her fondest Christmas memory involves me getting an American Girl. I didn't want it at first, and was quite bewildered by the gift, but I think I'll treasure it. Maybe I'll rename it.

After that, I spent a few hours doodling on my graphics tablet, and then we gathered up some family members and visited this restaurant with a huge buffet of Chinese food. It was incredibly delicious, and fun times were had. The dessert was amazing. 

So that was Christmas. I hope you had a nice Christmas.

Tomorrow is January 1st. I'm ready for it to come. Not ready for school to restart, either. :3

Now I leave you with a quote from Paper Towns, which is a book I recently read: "What a treacherous thing to believe, that a person is more than a person."

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Half, pt. 5


  When Silas graduated, he left his home. He said goodbye to his parents and to his friends and to the city that he had always known. He was going to begin a new life for himself, now that school and unkind people and the prospect of stuffing his head with seemingly pointless knowledge no longer kept him tied down. It hurt to leave his loved ones. But he knew that leaving isn't right unless you leave behind something that really means something to you. 
   He moved to a different city, bought an apartment, and took a job in the paper asking for laboratory experience. He had always enjoyed science. Maybe he could make something out of it.
   Two days before her new job, Eve went out and got a haircut as her mother's words rang in her ears. Her heavy copper locks fell to the floor, exposing her long neck and elegant shoulders. Her hair was cut into a sleek bob that curled naturally and framed her face. When it was done, she looked in the mirror and gasped in delight. She was shedding the past image of herself. She was becoming a newer, better Eve.
   One day before her new job, Eve permanently stopped wearing the long fingerless gloves that covered her wrists. She bought herself new clothes, clothes that she liked and that didn't hide her anymore. All her life, she had tried to cover herself in every way possible, had tried her hardest to never be seen. She was done with the shame. She was ready to be herself.
    On the day of her new job, she put on her newest floral blouse, the airy sleeveless one, and quickly scanned herself in the mirror. She was different, and her different self fit her, she thought. 
    In the kitchen, she hugged her mom tightly and moved her mouth close to her ear. "Thank you," she whispered. "For everything."
    Her mother pulled away slightly and smiled at Eve, twirling a finger through her daughter's shorter hair. Her eyes crinkled as she smiled. She was older than she had been, but her eyes remained kind and wise and full of light. "I'm so proud of you, darling," she said, squeezing her shoulders. "Now go out there and make a life for yourself."
    So Eve did. She left her childhood home with an air of finality. Even though she knew she was coming back, there was something about her departure that felt brighter.

Friday, December 28, 2012

12-27-12: tainted snow and miserable frenchmen


   Today is December 27. Christmas was nice. Yesterday we saw Les Mis, and it was wonderful, exactly what I expected it to be. Amanda Seyfried was a great Cosette, even though Ash and I doubted her abilities. I loved Eddie Redmayne as Marius! Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway were both amazing. It was all just so great, really, and I can't wait to see it again.  When we entered the theater, it was a typically cold, cloudy winter afternoon; but when we emerged, the sky was yellow as snow heavily fell. Jack Frost had paid us a visit, spreading a wintry coating across the silent earth and the willing citizens. In the theater parking lot, the snow was undisturbed, as yet untainted by the disgusting excretions of cars and engines and machines. It was beautiful and pure. It made me think of how nice things are until we ruin them. Sure enough, when I woke up the next morning, today, people had shoveled all the snow away into brown, slushy trenches at the sides of roads, clearing the way so that humanity could continue. Humanity doesn't like to be interrupted by things as bold and unwanted as a bit of snow.
   We - my dad and I - drove along on the highway as weird obscure music crackled from the radio. People flew along the road like it wasn't even snowing outside. Canadians are cool like that. We turned into the parking lot of a bookstore, and there were no cars on the pavement, just perfect snow. Everything was so gorgeous, and now I look back and realize that it was one of those moments. You know, the ones I talked about where something happens that's so special that you don't realize how much it will always mean to you until you look back on it?
    There's a ton of snow outside today. It's what the people back at home would go into bunker mode over.
     Now I leave you with a quote from Les Misérables: "To love another person is to see the face of God."


Monday, December 24, 2012

12-23-12 : christmas adam


   Tomorrow, I am leaving with my family to visit my aunt in Canada. There is no internet access where I am going, because my aunt is eighty-seven. I will not be able to watch the Doctor Who Christmas Special, because she does not have cable. All I ask is that I get to see Les Mis on Christmas.
   We go to my aunt's every Christmas. I can't imagine what it must be like to spend Christmas at home with friends instead of far away with family. What's it even like to get on the internet on Christmas Day? 0.0
    I feel kind of sad about Christmas this year, and I don't really know why. I watch the time pass with a sort of longing, sad to see it all slip by me. Like I'm trying to hang on to 2012 for no detectable reason. It wasn't even that great a year. It was just 2012.
    My brother's leaving next year. 
    I guess I'll have to . . . deal with that.
    We didn't decorate the tree this year. We put it up - the fake tree, I mean, the one that we've always had - and somehow in the last few days the compulsion to decorate it has left us. It is bare. The colorful lights that usually line the banisters of the stairs are absent this year, as are the snowmen figurines and outdoor lights. Why didn't we decorate this year? Why does everything feel so odd right now? I can't even believe that Christmas is the day after tomorrow. It crept right up. I've barely been anticipating it, and here it is.
    It doesn't feel like Christmas.
    Am I just getting older?

I can't wait to see my aunt, but there are a few family members who we're not seeing this year. We can't see everyone, which is a shame because everyone is in Canada. Sometimes I just want to live there.

Now I leave you with a quote: "If you don't imagine, nothing ever happens at all." - John Green, Paper Towns.

Merry Christmas, everyone.
    

Friday, December 21, 2012

It's the end of the world as we know it


And I feel fine.

OKAY SO THE LES MIS SOUNDTRACK WAS RELEASED TODAY AND OH MY GOSH IT IS BEAUTIFUL JUST I DREAMED A DREAM OH MY FEEEEEELINGS

I have been spending the last day of Earth reading Homestuck. It's frustrating. This one character keeps killing off all of my other favorite characters. I do not like how these things keep happening.

I keep telling myself I'm going to get up and do things, but then I just don't. I want to start on that 900-page edition of Les Misérables, and I want to draw all of these ideas that have been spawning in my mind all day, but I don't. It's Christmas vacation. 

Remember Looking for Alaska? All that deep stuff about trying to escape the labyrinth of suffering? I want to know how to escape the labyrinth of laziness.

Today I went in my room and sat down on my bed and did stuff on my computer, and then I looked up and noticed that on my dresser was a new piggy bank. It's a very cute ceramic pig with wings. I saw it yesterday at Pier 1 Imports and freaked out over it, but didn't buy it. My mom bought it secretly and snuck into my room to place it on the dresser. She is wonderful.



I'm going to leave now and possibly draw stuff.


"Oh, it is on like a prawn who yawns at dawn." - Andy, The Office

Friday, December 14, 2012

20 - Half, pt.4


  On the day of Eve's graduation, over 70% of the people in her class were matched with their clock partners.
   Hers had reached zero.
   She had met no one.
   This kind of thing simply wasn't supposed to happen. All people had matches, all people had functional watches. All people had their lives laid out for them.
   Eve felt lost. Even up until the end of her senior year, she had been the subject of ridicule in the hallways. She was never going to find love, and that made her a freak. In her secret places she knelt and cried over the stark, unflinching numbers that stared back at her from her wrist. They were unremovable. No surgical procedures had been invented for the removal of watches, and tearing it off would cause unrepairable damage to her arm. They were never going to go away. They would always be a brand of her failure.
    After the graduation, Eve ran away to the corner of her mother's garden where a wooden swing awaited her. She loved such vintage, strange things, and she enjoyed mechanics. Growing up, she had built all kinds of little machines and tiny robots and mechanical organisms. She was good with her hands, good with intricate work. And her love for machinery was yet one more thing that made her different from everyone else. 
     On the swing, she cried. It wasn't so much the fact that her life would never involve loving someone else; that didn't bother her as much as the realization that no one would ever accept her. She would have difficulty finding a job, difficulty fitting in anywhere, because life had denied her so many things that everyone else had.
     Her quiet sobs were heard only by the grass and the trees and the sky, only the organic things. Her graduation cap and gown lay piled in a heap on the grassy earth, pressed into the mud for all she cared. She didn't notice her mother's presence in the garden until warm arms wrapped around her shoulders. 
    "Stop feeling so sorry for yourself," said her mother.
    Eve looked at her sharply, face swollen from crying. "What?" she muttered weakly. 
    Her mother stated, "You're making this much worse than it needs to be."
    Eve looked away. She expected more sympathy.
    "Think about it, Eve," said her mother,  squeezing her shoulders gently. "You are capable. You're strong. You're talented. You're beautiful."
    Eve had heard the ridicules of the boys in her class and thought otherwise.
    "Have you seen what your hands can do?" Her mother's hand dug into the pocket of her apron and emerged bearing a tiny mechanical bird. It was crafted from scraps of polished metal, extra screws, random springs. She held it up to Eve, and it gleamed in the sun. Its structure was masterful. Eve took it reluctantly and stared at it. 
    "Eve, I don't care what the world says about you," said the mother softly. "You can do things that no one else I know can." She wrapped her fingers around her daughter's wrist, hiding the clock. "It is not up to some clock to determine what your life is going to be. It's up to you, Eve. You're the one with a head full of sense and imagination. I know that's who you are. And I know that you're going to make it. You're going to be able to make a life for yourself."
    Three days later, Eve had answered an ad in the newspaper. She was going to work at a laboratory.
    This was the beginning of her new life.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

19 - night thoughts


 Why can I never do things when I need to do them? I rather need sleep, but I also rather need to finish these blog posts. Rather is a rather nice word. Rather, rather. Lather. Rrawr.

Has anyone ever considered that maybe "Rawrr" does not indeed mean "I love you" in dinosaur? Maybe it actually means "You look scrumptious and I would like to eat you".

I love you. How is anyone supposed to know when these three little words are actually sincere?

I need a hug.

Tomorrow is Friday.

The Hobbit is being released.

I am taking an AP Bio test.

I don't feel like posting any gifs at the moment.

How inadequate words are.

Maybe our universe is actually wrapped in a large blue velvet blanket, and the things we think are stars are just holes. Maybe when we blast off into space, if we kept going and going and going we would hit the blanket and bounce back, even if the tangible parts of the blanket are millions and millions and millions of light years away. Maybe that blanket is part of a larger Earth, spun by a handmaiden in the middle ages. Maybe the cycle continues. Maybe our blankets contain universes. 

Maybe France isn't as far away as I think it is.