It's 8:45 and by tomorrow I have to finish an AP Bio project complete with drawings and look at the anatomy of a pig and write five more of these blog posts and study for a Spanish test that I feel like i will fail.
I want to write stories, but I feel like I am too stressed at the moment to carelessly cast my imagination out very far. By tomorrow at this time it will all be over. Tomorrow is my last day of school. I have made it this far, and I can make it for 19 more hours. 19 hours.
Then on Saturday I'll be going to a convention, cosplaying Rose Lalonde! It'll be a lot of fun, but I haven't quite had time to think about it yet. I actually still need to finish my costume.
Also, after school tomorrow is the first time the color guard and band will be practicing together, therefore becoming the unified marching band. I am really nervous. I'm afraid I'm going to mess up the spins we learned yesterday. We attempted marching and spinning at the same time, and I had difficulties with it. The main problem I'm having with color guard is that I know I suck and I also know that everyone else knows I suck. I don't like feeling sucky about myself and my abilities and I want to stop feeling sucky but that will take time and effort, which I am entirely willing to put forth, but for now I still feel sucky, and the fact that I won't feel sucky in the future isn't helping.
And some people at school didn't help today. I was trying to explain my problems to them and they're like, "Well, yeah, you kind of are the worst of the three new guard members…" and then "your windmills are really crooked, by the way!" Geez, thanks for giving me such a confidence boost when we're not on the floor and I therefore can't improve upon what you have just suggested of me.
Ajkdsjkadnj. I just want today to be over, basically.
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